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My friend informed me of the REAL reason his boss was off work, a truth that he would not admit to his customers.
He had arranged a romantic weekend with his girlfriend, and had decided to spice up the evening with chocolate body paint. The instructions on the jar say to warm it in the microwave for a few seconds, but he misread the directions and microwaved it on high for two minutes.
You know how a mother tests baby milk on the back of her hand, to make sure it's not too hot? He didn't. He proceeded to pour the VERY hot chocolate onto his privates without realizing, until it made contact, exactly how hot it was. He suffered nasty burns, which gave him a John Wayne walk for weeks, and almost certainly put him out of sexual action for longer than that!
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